March 2005

- Thursday March 31, 2005 -
We had a last lunch at Jack's with Larry and Robin (friends) as they prepared to leave town later in the day. It was bittersweet and we already miss them.

- Wednesday March 30, 2005 -
Larry (friends) had his retirement luncheon today. Lucky bum. Actually we are very happy for him. It is also a day before he moves to Santa Cruz, three hours away from here. So it was a very emotional day for him and he faced it like a man - he got really drunk! His wife told him the next day that he had a good time. The luncheon was at El Novillero (great!) and then moved too a local watering hole (not exactly water, more like Margaritas). Yow!

- Tuesday March 29, 2005 -
Fear, dread, trepidation, queasiness, you name it. That's what I felt, but a lot more as we waited for Petra's (web site) test results. It seems like we keep getting bad news at every turn so why would today be any different? I think we were both expecting more bad new but finally, finally, finally we found out that all the tests came out good! No evidence of the cancer spreading to the bones in the bone scan, CT scan ok too, and heart test showed a good heart. I always knew she had a good heart but this proves it!

So this is indeed good news. It means they expect to be able to get rid of this disease, not just make her comfortable. Of course that means chemotherapy. Not only that, but a "dose dense" approach that will accelerate the treatment. It will be a weird and twisted 4-6 months but we have faced adversity before and we will get through this. Thanks to all for your support.

- Sunday March 27, 2005 -
I don't really celebrate Easter. The older I get the harder it is to find the eggs. But Petra's (web site) parents took us to a very tasty brunch at their club. And thanks to them.

- Saturday March 26, 2005 -
John M (friends) threw a big party for Larry and Robin, kind of wishing them good luck and farewell as they get ready to move to Santa Cruz. John's house looked great with the new and colorful painting and he was a great host. Not to mention Marianne's margaritas.

- Friday, March 25, 2005 -
Now I have seen everything. Well, maybe not everything. But today was an appointment with the plastic reconstructive surgeon. He put two ounces of saline into Petra's expander in her chest. Here is a picture of the syringe. Check it out. Yikes!! And then imagine a two inch needle at the end, which it did have. Double yikes!! I have never watched anything quite like it, and neither had Petra! And of course it took two or three minutes to empty it all into her. Pretty wild, although that was not the word she used...

We needed something a little lighter after that, so we went to a movie. We saw Miss Congeniality 2. It's getting bad reviews but if you liked the first one then you will probably like this one. Heck, I even liked it myself, and I usually want something a bit deeper. But Sandra Bullock is amazingly charming and you just get caught up in it. Two and a half to three stars, somewhere in there.

We also saw the trailer (preview) for the upcoming remake Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (web site). When I first heard about this remake, I had dread, severe dread. After all, the original (Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) is an all-time classic which I have seen probably 20 - 25 times. But then I learned that Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, and Johnny Depp were involved and it made me curious. Now I have seen the preview and it looks seriously twisted in a good way. Now I am actually looking forward to it. If you can go by that short trailer, they have added a slightly darker edge and made it their own. We shall see in a few months. Take the link and view the trailer yourself if you too are curious.

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- Wednesday, March 23, 2005 -
A nice dinner at Strings with Karl and Betty (friends). No bad news today.

- Tuesday, March 22, 2005 -
We went to our first Sacramento Kings game since the surgery. And they won big! I think Petra was a little uncomfortable in the small seats with the crowd, but I think she enjoyed it anyway. She was nervous that someone would bump her in the general 'wounded' area, and there's still some real discomfort. But go Kings!

- Monday, March 21, 2005 -
Monday was the Bone Scan. Another day, another needle. This time the radioactive stuff was shot right into her. Then we had a nice lunch with Larry and Robin (friends), including a special 'merlot' therapy with lunch. Then back to the lab for the actual scan. OK, the three ordered tests are done. Are we having fun yet? Now for more waiting!

- Saturday, March 19, 2005 -
Well, the wine trip was great. It was a much-needed respite from the weariness and waiting and a chance to have some actual fun. Betty, Karl, Robin, Larry, Laura, Cal, Petra and I (friends) started off by entering the rented limo for a nice leisurely ride up to the Amador wine country. Once there, we had a great bufffet lunch at Villa Toscano and also did some tasting. We picked up last years 'futures' and bought some of next years. Next was Story Winery (again, picked up last years, bought next years), then TKC, Dobra, and Montevina Wineries. Of course, we rarely (never) left a winery empty-handed. The tastings are all free but that assumes that you don't buy any wine to take home! Gotta help out that economy, right? Then it was a nice limo ride home, for a great day with some good friends. Ah...

We even watched a DVD that night, Starsky and Hutch. Listen carefully: save your money! Even if you get it free. It was pretty bad. It might have even been really, really bad. Is it Ben Stiller's fault? I don't know but seeing after the two Meet The Parents (Fockers) films and this one, I think maybe we should all suggest a new career for Ben, because his movies leave a lot to be desired. And those are just the ones I have seen. How good can Dodgeball be? Zoolander? Well, maybe I will see Dodgeball and find out, after all, I do like a challenge (apparently). In the meantime, beware of Starsky and Hutch. My wife was a fan of the original show and she also thought the movie was lame.

- Friday, March 18, 2005 -
OK, boys and girls, todays test was the MUGA. No, that's not someone who hits you over the head and then steals your bling bling. It's a test of the heart, to see if Petra's heart is strong enough to withstand the 'dose dense', 'fairly agressive' chemotherapy that looms around the corner. Of course it started off crappy, with an insertion of an(other) IV into her arm. Then get this: they took some blood, took it into the next room, mixed it with a radioactive material, and then put it back into her arm!! Yow! I've never heard of that but then most of this is new to me. For the record, the blood was kind of cold when it was put back in because it was at room temperature instead of body temperature. The fun never stops.

Then we had a nice lunch with Jared, Michael, and Kirk (friends). We went to Fresh Choice, pretty good, fairly healthy, and of course all you can eat.

Then the party was over as we headed to the appointment with the reconstructive surgeon. The good news is that Petra is healing well from the surgery. It's a slow process but she is doing well. He decided to wait another week before the first saline injection. I'll tell you, this is so mentally exhausting. But it's like eating an elephant. You do it one piece at a time. Tomorrow will be better, we are taking a limo with six other friend and going on a wine trip. Yep. Free lunch and a bunch of wine-tasting. We are SO there!

- Thursday, March 17, 2005 -
Today was Petra's CT scan. She got to drink a delightfully chalky Barium mixture last night and again this morning. The fun really started (not) as she got hooked up to an IV and had a solution shot into her that made her taste metal and feel warm like she was going to the bathroom. Yes, every day is a new adventure, as we will no doubt learn this next few days when we do more tests. They laid her down and put her throught the big donut machine and took all sorts of pictures and whatnot.

On the good side, we did go to dinner with Larry and Robin (friends) to Todo Un Poco and there Petra got her favorite Punjabi Pizza. I had a great mexican dish, the La Banera plate. They have such good food, we had a nice leisurely dinner and then went to our friends house and met up with John and Mike (more friends) for desert and a few drinks. The evening was hella better than the morning.

- Wednesday, March 16, 2005 -
OK. I have been back to work for three days now and while it's nice to see the old gang, I find it a bit hard to focus. I want to be home with Petra even though she is doing better and doesn't need that much care for the time being. Work just doesn't seem as important, but I still plug away at it. If all this had happened five or six years from now we would both just retire, but sometimes life doesn't work out the way you plan it. And sometimes you just get screwed over. You know, life isn't fair yada yada yada. Sometimes it's so unfair you wonder if anybody is even in charge here. If so, they must be overworked or distracted or asleep at the wheel because we did NOT deserve this.

The good news is that we finally got our new cable package installed! As I may have blogged before, we got lots of channels, plus 8 HBO's, digital music channels, super-fast internet, a DVR (digital video recorder, similar to TIVO), and HDTV on some channels. All for about what we pay now (at least for the first year). Love it love it love it.

- Monday, March 14, 2005 -
It was a low key weekend, which is a good thing. We took it easy and enjoyed the time. I went back to work today after three weeks off, which went by like nothing. Today really moved slowly, though. I wanted to be home with Petra and I am pretty sure she wanted that too.

We watched a DVD "From Justin To Kelly". Yes, it was the American Idol people from round one. It was light and moved along but I wouldn't recommend it. Sugary, predictable, gooey. Unless you like it that way, of course.

- Thursday, March 10, 2005 -
We had our first meeting with the oncologist today. He seemed like a smart and experienced man who wanted to beat this thing. Next week Petra will have three more tests, I think it was a CT scan, bone scan, and a heart scan (or some type of heart test). These will determine if the cancer has become widespread or is still localized in some of the lymph nodes. We are assuming there will be positive results from these tests since Petra is relatively young and healthy, except for that pesky cancer thing of course.

If those tests go well, Petra will begin chemotherapy a few weeks after. He is recommending a "dose dense" program, which he described as "fairly aggressive" since it is every two weeks instead of every three. He does want to cure this disease so the treatments will be every two weeks for a total of eight treatments, sixteen weeks total. There is a decent chance that radiation may be needed after that but we don't know yet.

We both were floored when he mentioned that Petra may well be out of work for six more months! This seems so strange and is really hard to comprehend. Can this really be happening? I guess it can, in fact I know it can. My stomach is tied in knots and my legs feel really weak and I want to sleep and cry and scream. And I'm not even the sick one. But we will fight this together and if it can be beaten then we will beat the living crap out of it.

But know this: Petra does NOT deserve this. And life is so unfair and this totally sucks.

- Wednesday, March 9, 2005 -
Today's appointment was with the reconstructive surgeon. He too said things are going very well. In fact, he took the two drainage tubes out of Petra, so no more emptying and measuring, which is ok with both of us. We can call this good news too.

Karl and Betty (Friends) invited us to meet at Jack's for dinner and it felt good to get out so we did. Yep, more friendship therapy. Good stuff.

- Monday, March 7, 2005 -
I guess you can see that this situation is starting to consume our lives. We do try to remain positive and joke and laugh about it. We saw the main surgeon today and the physical recovery is going well. Good news.

Larry and Robin (Friends) wanted to bring us dinner and visit for a while, but Petra was going "stir crazy" (as opposed to just "crazy") so we met them at Crepeville for a dinner and couple hours of friendship therapy. Larry only has about three weeks left to work before retirement and I am *so* jealous.

- Saturday, March 5, 2005 -
We are changing cable companies and were supposed to get the new service today but, as our luck would have it, there was a "clogged conduit" and the install could not be done. They will fix it in "5-7 working days". Argh! We will have lots of channels, 8 HBO's, digital music channels, fast internet, a DVR (digital video recorder, similar to TIVO), and HDTV on some channels. All for about what we pay now (at least for the first year). It's a special deal, after that we will most likely scale back. ;-)

- Friday, March 4, 2005 -
Sigh. After the bad news from last night, Petra wanted a better and lighter day and I could use that too. So, we went on her first real outing since the surgery and had a nice lunch at Todo Un Poco and then saw not one but two movies! Keep in mind that Petra picked the movies ;-) First was "Hitch", starrting Will Smith. I'd give it 2 1/2 stars or so. It was mindless entertainment but did have some snappy dialog in parts, and Will was better than I expected. Not bad, a decent "date" movie and probably worth seeing if you don't demand much mental stimulation from your films. Sometimes that is ok. But second was "The Pacifier", starring Vin Diesel (1 1/2 stars). I can't recommend this one unless you are a kid, and even then I am not so sure. It was one cliche after the next and wasn't nearly as funny as it thought it was. I have seen worse and it was harmless for the most part so it is up to you but I'd say save your money.

- Thursday, March 3, 2005 -
We watched the DVD of "Bend It Like Beckham". It was pretty good, very likeable. Between the British and Indian accents it took a little paying attention but was very entertaining.

Then the bad news. The surgeon called and told Petra that 3 of the 10 nodes tested were positive. This means that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes, at least a little bit. It increases the likelyhood of chemotherapy, but we won't really know more until we find out more from the doctors. But my expert medical opinion is that it totally sucks.

- Wednesday, March 2, 2005 -
What could be more theraputic than music? A quick trip to The Beat netted the following CDs:

Jack Johnson "In Between Dreams"
The Postal Service "We Will Become Silhouettes" CD maxi-single
Soundtrack "Thicker Than Water"
Tori Amos "The Beekeeper"
Aimee Mann "Live at St. Anne's Warehouse" CD + DVD

- Tuesday, March 1, 2005 -
Spent the last few days helping Petra get up, down, and around. She is getting better every day. Her mom brought some food by, which was helpful. We are doing ok. Friends Karl and Betty brought dinner by one night which was nice of them.


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